Self-Care, Self-Fulfillment, Self-Love
Why do high-achieving women, like you, experience tension?
How can you counteract this strain on your body?
Believe it or not, you already have everything you need to set yourself free.
First, let’s look at tension and why it occurs. Tension arises when you experience mental or emotional pressure, which can come from external and internal sources. For example, if you work in a high-stress job, you may feel intense pressure to achieve. This can be external pressure from management or internal pressure from yourself…or both.
As a high-achieving woman, you may have a tendency to put internal pressure on yourself to be perfect, to do better, to be better, thus bringing about tension that can lead to mental and even physical strain. A mind impacted by pressure can lose clarity.
As tension builds in your mind, it starts to reside in your body. Muscles tense up when the body is under stress, which is how our body guards against injury. Tense shoulders, sore backs, and tight hips can all be signs of the mental strain you’re carrying. Excessive tension build-up can also trigger unhealthy emotions.
Releasing tension from your body can also release it from the mind and return you to a place of ease. An excellent way to accomplish this is by creating spaciousness through movement. This can dissolve the pressure causing tension in the body and mind. It can also liberate unhealthy emotions that were stored in a physical form in the body. As well, the breath you use during movement creates air and space within the body.
Therefore, creating spaciousness in the body releases unhealthy tension and unburdens your mind. Yet it’s also good practice to get in touch with where you hold tension in your body, so you can become aware of it before it begins to speak so loudly that it stops you in your tracks. Let’s start with a body scan.
Body scan
Take a moment to pause each day. Allow yourself to breathe and be still while you scan your body, starting either at the bottom or the top.
Begin by mindfully directing your attention to your toes or the top of your head. Notice how it feels. Then go to the next part of your body and do the same. As you move through the scanning process you may find tension is stored in certain areas, such as your shoulder or hips. You may notice your jaw clenches or your feet are sore.
Your body is a guide to how you’re feeling. By scanning your body daily, you’ll learn how it stores tension, which can be helpful in preventing and releasing future physical and emotional distress.
Movement
There are endless ways to move your body to create spaciousness. Any movement that brings you joy can also create internal space.
Walk in nature
The energy of nature can remove you from life stressors. The sound of birds and running water, the feeling of fresh air on your skin, and the beauty of lush green forests and sparkling blue seas, distracts your senses and calms your mind.
Yoga
Yoga focuses on the body moving in tune with the breath. This is an especially powerful type of movement because with each breath we create space. Pairing movement with breath can be very helpful for releasing tension and inviting spaciousness.
Dancing
Dancing can be a fun way to get your body moving and to feel spacious and free. The best thing about dancing is that you can do it anywhere. Play tunes in your spare time or while you do chores and let the music get you moving.
When you’re not up for movement
Laughter
Put on your favorite comedy show for a good laugh. Laughter releases hormones that counteract stress and release tension. A joyful laugh is one of the simplest ways to bring spaciousness into your mind and body.
Touchstone
Create spaciousness in your body by calming your mind with a touchstone. A touchstone is an object that represents a desire and enables you to embody it. It can be prayer beads, a rosary, a gemstone, or anything that has meaning for you. Envisioning or physically holding a touchstone, while being mindful of your breath, can help your body relax and release tension.
The outcome
Mindful movement of your body and your breath produces hormones that reduce stress and releases old stored energy from tensions or unhealthy emotions. Encouraging the movement of your breath, inhaling and exhaling, allows new energy to flow through the body and releases tension. At first, this might feel unfamiliar, because the stuck energy was part of you for some time. However, once it’s gone, you’ll begin to feel the spaciousness you’ve created and the new and lighter energy within.
Start with a body scan, invite in movement (or its alternatives), and immerse yourself in spaciousness!
Receiving, Self-Care, Self-Fulfillment, Self-Love
Would you like more from life?
More love?
More joy?
More inspiration?
More abundance?
You can receive everything that you want in life. How does this work?
Everything in the Universe is made up of energy, including you. This means that energy is constantly flowing to and through you. So, you have an innate and unlimited capacity to receive.
However, it’s possible for life experiences or messages from your past to create a kink in your hose of energy flow. You might have learned not to get up your hopes and expect good things, because you’ve been let down previously. Or you were taught that you don’t deserve to receive something unless you have earned it or you need it as the result of an illness. Therefore, you can become limited in your potential to receive.
But, you have the ability to unkink your hose and access all that the Universe has to offer. With practice, you can learn how to get out of your own way and receive like a pro.
Here are 5 practices for expanding your power to receive:
Accept compliments
When someone offers you a compliment, make sure to respond with “Thank you.” Do not deflect the compliment by trivializing whatever was complimented. Also, there is no need to return a compliment at that moment.
Make gratitude a habit
Each time you get a gift or a compliment, focus on receiving it fully with the deepest appreciation. Then speak your sincere appreciation aloud to the giver, so they also feel your gratitude.
Practice receiving
If you want to expand your ability to receive, you must practice. Start by focusing on being present in the moment and noticing what you receive each day. This could be a smile from a stranger or a compliment from a colleague. See if you are able to receive without giving back.
Ask for what you want
My mother taught me that if I don’t ask, I won’t get. Most people won’t be able to read your mind and know what you want or need. Of course, that means it’s important for you to know what you want or need.
Stretch beyond your comfort zone
The level at which you are able to receive can reveal any limitations you may have around deserving. Invite yourself to stay open to receiving good things. You are worthy of receiving all that you need and desire.
When you are able to open up and receive more, life becomes more fulfilling and enjoyable than you could imagine. The key to immersing yourself in the practice of receiving is to know that you are worthy of having it all.
This means having a healthy, loving relationship with your Self.
Self-Care, Self-Fulfillment, Self-Love
“Love and Compassion are the true religions to me. But to develop this, we do not need to believe in any religion.” ~ The Dalai Lama
Each day you are blessed with opportunities for choice. From the food you eat, to the way you move, to the thoughts you think, every second of the day presents you with another opportunity for choice.
In the past, when faced with choice, my actions were driven by the desire to achieve. My choice to persevere, no matter what, overruled my health and relationship needs, and reflected my perfectionistic tendencies to the detriment of all else in my life.
It took me too long to recognize that something was amiss and to choose to design a different methodology for my journey. You may be able to relate to my story, even finding yourself in a similar position, looking to discover your own spiritual path to your higher purpose.
A spiritual journey can be uncomfortable— especially for a type-A personality. As you embark on this path, you may feel some loneliness if you don’t have a like-minded community to share your experiences with, or some anxiety about letting go of the security of a controlled hold over your life.
However, during the ebbs and flows of this journey, there is a choice that can remain constant. This choice not only improves your wellbeing, it eases you toward your higher purpose. The choice is love and compassion.
Love and compassion are the most powerful forces on earth. Acts of care and consideration towards another being can be shown through even the smallest gestures, such as a smile or a helping hand. Love and compassion can heal, nurture, uplift, and transform a life.
When you choose love and compassion, not only does it nourish the souls of others, it enhances your own spiritual well-being, boosting your fulfillment and connecting you with your divine Self.
Your previous choices to achieve success may have come with sacrifice to your wellbeing and to relationships with those you love. The ongoing drive of an overachiever can generate a sense of dissatisfaction. Choosing love and compassion fulfills a need to be more altruistic and elevates your spiritual path.
Start with yourself
Self-care
Nourish your body and soul with loving self-care. This could include pampering, time off, exercise, meditation, or positive self-talk to uplift you when you’re down. Anything that nurtures you is considered self-care and is an act of compassion toward yourself.
Honesty
Don’t be embarrassed to do something bold if that’s what you want to do. And don’t feel obligated to say yes to things you don’t want to do. Be honest about what you really want. Though it may seem loving to do favors for a friend, if it creates conflict with your authentic Self, you may cause harm to both your Self and your relationships. Do what feels most aligned for you.
Gratitude
When you wake up each day, be grateful to have a new day to practice being in alignment with your authentic Self. Appreciation for each moment is the most loving and compassionate way to acknowledge your own being.
Share with others
Listen
Share an ear of compassion and empathy. Hear what others have to say with patience and understanding. Don’t feel that you have to provide advice unless it’s requested. Sometimes the most loving thing you can offer someone is simply to listen and hear what they have to say at that moment.
Teach
Share your knowledge with others. If you see someone struggling and you have the opportunity, take a moment to lovingly show them how it’s done.
Appreciate
Acknowledge what others have to offer. They might not have the same qualities as you, which is what makes them unique. Appreciate them for being different.
Every day you are blessed with opportunities of choice. Let love and compassion be the guides behind the choices you make. Through acts of love and compassion, your self-discovery can be enhanced and your spiritual journey can be elevated.
Do you relate to being driven towards achieving success no matter the sacrifice to your health, wellbeing, relationships and more?
Are you interested in decreasing the amount of effort you expend, increasing the success you experience, and doing all this with ease and flow?
If so, join me on Wednesday, June 8 for my complimentary new one-time only online class, “The Three Step Formula That Revolutionizes Your Path Of Success, Activates Your Purpose, And Accelerates Your Results With The Greatest Amount Of Ease And Flow!”
More details coming soon! Save the Date – Wednesday, June 8, 2022.
Self-Care, Self-Fulfillment, Self-Love
When you are faced with a decision, there are two basic options: the choice for growth, which moves you forward, or the choice for comfort, which keeps you contained.
The comfortable choice gives you a sense of safety. It’s familiar. And, since you are already there, you know the end result.
This brilliant quotation is commonly misattributed to Albert Einstein, “Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, but expecting different results.”
Regardless of who said it, the point of this statement is this: Until you choose to do something different, the end result will remain the same. You don’t grow in status quo.
The choice for growth activates your adrenaline. It’s unfamiliar. Each time you choose to act in a way that moves you forward, the outcome tends to be unknown.
So… which option do you choose?
Though the safety of the comfortable choice can be appealing, it can also leave you feeling stagnant.
When you choose to do something different, you invite in new opportunities and enhance your personal growth. And, it can be uncomfortable.
Just the thought of change can cause a shift in your cortisol levels, potentially creating discomfort or fear about what may come next. This can hold you back from taking action, if you let it. However, moving through these emotions can actually benefit your growth.
As you begin to identify these feelings of discomfort or fear as indicators of personal growth, you learn that this is a normal aspect of choosing to leave the status quo behind. You have the ability to shift from fearing uncertainty to being excited and empowered by the unknown.
Taking steps toward your higher vision leads you to new life experiences. Transforming fear into excitement allows you to lean into new levels of personal growth and guides you on your evolutionary journey to your higher purpose.
5 ways to kick the status quo to the curb
Is your daily routine set in stone? Challenge yourself to do things differently. Make a list detailing your average day and notice if you could ignite a spark by adding something new or replacing something that’s become tiresome. A slight shift in your routine might provide the foundation for a new endeavor.
Build your self-confidence and resilience. A new skill is not merely another asset, it can open you up to other avenues for expansion in your professional and personal life. Register for a class or try something new, even if you’re hesitant. Remember that there’s no downside to learning.
Your world has mostly likely shrunk as a result of Covid-19. It was safer to stay home, so containment became the new normal. This made it challenging to grow in many ways. With the world opening up once again, make an effort to give an extra 20 minutes to your daily walk, take a weekend trip to someplace new, or invite your neighbor to lunch. New places, new people, and new choices are great ways to welcome a more expanded world.
Choose to express yourself on other levels. A creative endeavor is not only fun, it usually involves venturing into the unknown. Whether it’s painting a wall red, joining a salsa class, or cooking a new dish, a creative pursuit can be great fun and also open up doors to new opportunities for personal growth.
Be genuine in how you communicate; whether expressing your emotions by writing in your journal or having a difficult, yet sincere conversation with someone. Being true to your Self can be uncomfortable, yet it evokes growth within you and your relationships.
Yes, making a choice for change may elicit feelings of discomfort or fear. At these times, invite your courage to guide you forward so you may accelerate your evolution.
Leave the status quo in the dust. The choice for personal growth will lead you on the path to the highest version of your Self.
Self-Care, Self-Love
High-achievers are driven to say “yes.”
Yes, to show up.
Yes, to help a friend.
Yes, to take on more.
I used to believe that if I didn’t say yes, I was inadequate, letting someone down, or not capable of doing it all. I thought that the word “no” could negatively impact my success or how people perceived me.
Yet, over time, I learned it can do just the opposite. It helped me choose and achieve my most important priorities without impacting my personal wellbeing. Because when I say no, I’m saying yes to myself and greater self-love.
The practice of saying no is about setting healthy boundaries. Boundaries are parameters that help protect your energy. They are a way to communicate your desires and show others how you should be treated. They keep you from overextending yourself with commitments, which could otherwise lead to burnout or feelings of resentment.
Saying yes on autopilot can start to affect your well-being. Yet setting healthy boundaries doesn’t mean saying no mindlessly. Boundaries establish a healthy balance that respects others while caring for yourself.
Learning to set firm boundaries and say no is an act of self-love and love for others. Take a moment to reflect on the times when you may have felt anger or resentment towards yourself or others. Perhaps you became fatigued from taking on too much or felt taken advantage of by someone else.
If any of this resonates with you, it might be time to reevaluate your boundaries and embrace self-love.
Why say NO
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Enrich your relationships
Setting healthy boundaries creates transparency, which can be a strong foundation for trust in relationships. When you set limits on your time and energy, your loved ones will have a deeper understanding of your needs and desires. If someone refuses to respect the boundaries you set, it may be time to reevaluate that relationship.
Spreading yourself too thin won’t help you accomplish more. Saying no helps you stay focused on your primary vision. You’ll be more effective with your time and energy when you don’t try to manage it all.
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Experience greater joy and wellbeing
Saying no to others means saying yes to yourself. Saying yes to yourself means more time to enjoy the things you love without feelings of stress or fatigue. As much as you may want to please others, make yourself a priority by choosing your own wellbeing.
If you’re a YES person, setting up healthy boundaries may feel uncomfortable at first. You might feel guilt or stress when saying no to a friend or client. It might feel unnatural to go against your urge to please others. Yet, wouldn’t you rather honor your feelings and say no, than feel resentment because you said yes when you wanted to say no.
When to say NO
1. Your plate is already full
If you find yourself feeling stressed and too busy to fit in yet another request for your time, no could be your best option. Compromising your own wellbeing isn’t good for anyone involved.
2. You feel internal resistance
Having extra time to spare isn’t a good reason to say yes. When you feel resistant to a request for your time, trust your instincts.
3. There’s no time for those you love
As a high-achiever you may tend to get caught up in all that you’re doing. Yet setting aside time for yourself and those you love is an excellent reason to say no. Prioritize your time with loved ones and do what you truly desire.
Saying NO empowers you to take charge of your well-being and renew self-love. When you set and enforce healthy boundaries, you avoid feelings of resentment, stress, and overwhelm. If not being able to say NO has you feeling exhausted, depleted and on the brink of burnout, you are not alone.
Several years ago, I suffered from extreme exhaustion that led to burnout. I have since learned what it takes to be engaged, inspired and passionate about my life (again). This is why I created my upcoming 5-Day Challenge, From Exhausted To Exhilarated: The Top Five Secrets To Increase Your Energy Now.
This 5-day challenge is for you if…
- You live in an almost constant state of exhaustion, sleepwalking through life.
- You’re forgetful and have a hard time focusing.
- You have difficulty sleeping. (No wonder you’re so tired all the time!)
- You’re frustrated and irritable more than you’d like to admit.
- You no longer have the energy to do it all, so you’re playing catch up.
To reclaim your life, click here and register for my 5-Day Challenge: From Exhausted To Exhilarated: The Top Five Secrets To Increase Your Energy Now.
Self-Care, Self-Love
“If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?” ~ Ru Paul
Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate love. It’s a day to share the love with your partner, your children, your parents, your pets, or anyone who brings you joy.
This day can be difficult for some. It may trigger unhealed trauma or make you question the absence of unconditional love in your life.
No matter how you feel about Valentine’s Day, keep this in mind…
Whether you are picking out gifts, planning your night out, or perhaps forgoing the holiday completely, remember that there’s someone else who may need extra attention today.
During this day that emphasizes the essential need of love, make sure to include the person that matters most… YOU!
Unconditional love is something we crave. Some say it is the route to happiness and joy. So why do we rely on another to provide it?
Unconditional love does not ask you to neglect your own needs or sacrifice your being. It’s a love that exists regardless of obstacles or imperfections. It’s true love and it’s the kind of love we can give to ourselves.
Self-love is the most important relationship we can foster. It’s incredibly rewarding and essential to our growth. It helps us define who we are and how we connect with others. It can help heal our past trauma and remind us that we don’t need to look for love from others.
Instead of searching for unconditional love from another, start looking within. Self-love is the key to realizing fulfillment and joy on Valentine’s Day and beyond.
5 activities to nurture self-love on Valentine’s Day
1. Beautify your space
Tidy the house, organize your closet, tend to your garden or house plants, or, start a DIY project to add some brilliance to your space. It’s easier to love yourself when you love your surroundings.
2. Lose yourself in nature
Read a book at a nearby lake, pond, or on the beach, watch the sunset, or enjoy a walk through your favorite park. Seeing the beauty in the world around you can help you connect with the beauty in yourself.
3. Treat yourself with compassion and care
There’s always internal dialogue happening in your mind. Do your best to keep it positive. Compliment yourself often by using uplifting words.
4. Unplug and practice being mindful
Being mindful and fully present can help you learn to appreciate yourself. Unplug from your electronics, allow yourself to disconnect from the distractions of life, and explore your inner Self. Meditation, movement, and journaling are mindful practices that help you connect with the present moment.
5. Identify and celebrate your successes
Take a moment to remember where you were 5, 10, or 15 years ago. Make a list of your accomplishments since then. Celebrate your achievements and acknowledge how far you’ve come to get where you are today.
Valentine’s Day is a holiday that can bring up feelings of unworthiness if you don’t have the “perfect” relationship. Keep in mind that an external relationship will not fill an internal void. Nurture yourself this Valentine’s Day because your journey to fulfillment starts with you. Revisit my article Spring Clean Your Soul: 7 Ways To Renew You for inspiration.
What ways do you practice self-love?
Do you…
Sleep is crucial to our mental health. Lack of sleep can result in mood swings, anxiety and depression. When you give your body the sleep it needs, you send the message that you love yourself.
Eating healthy food makes you feel good. When you cut out junk food and stop over-monitoring your diet, you’re telling your body that you love it. This helps sustain your energy, regulate your hormones, and support you to maintain a positive outlook.
Leave the past in the past. Why dwell on things you can’t change? Learn from your mistakes, forgive yourself, and make different choices moving forward. Forgiveness is a powerful way to practice self-love.
Self-care is essential to cultivating self-love. Make time for self-nurturing and self-reflection. Learn how to say NO to others and YES to yourself. It’s your life, so it’s up to you to make time to enjoy it.
Tame the self-deprecating dialogue that can come from not having someone special to spend Valentine’s Day with. Shift your mindset to that of appreciation for yourself, and claim unconditional love from YOU!
