Self-Fulfillment, Self-Love
Do you feel pressure to get things done quickly?
When you push yourself harder to reach your goal, is your wellbeing negatively impacted?
Is this also sacrificing your highest vision of success?
As a high-achieving woman aiming to conquer extraordinary goals, time can often feel like your greatest obstacle. Even when there is no externally established deadline, you may feel a self-imposed sense of urgency for immediate results.
In my previous article ‘What Is Success Without Sacrifice? Plus, How You Can Have It’, I spoke about how true success comes without sacrifice, from goals that are aligned with your authentic Self and add greater purpose and meaning to your life.
Yet a goal that presents during your spiritual journey is most likely no small feat. These types of endeavors may take longer to come to fruition than we desire. A Type-A woman typically wants results fast, which can, at times, conflict with the pace of Divine right timing. If your spirit is calling you to pursue something, patience is key to receiving the results of this goal with greater ease.
Patience encourages you to be flexible, whether or not things go as planned. When obstacles arise, patience invites you to adjust your plans with ease. As you continue on your spiritual journey, you’ll notice that the methods used for developing patience are similar to the consistent practices used to embody a more spiritual mindset.
Here are some practices you can use to receive the benefits of patience and move closer to your goal:
Invite spaciousness
Gift yourself relief from unnecessary timelines and pressure that can build frustration. When you give yourself a break from efforting and pushing to move forward, things work out in Divine right timing to serve your highest good.
Welcome your journey to success
Without patience, you may make decisions or take actions that short-circuit the highest vision of your goal. Patience is a tool that encourages acceptance and faith that your goal will manifest even better than you could have imagined.
Bring enjoyment to the process
Each step can be more enjoyable when you can let go of your emphasis on its urgency and adopt a more playful and relaxed mindset that is not restricted by timelines. Obstacles that occur will feel more like interesting challenges rather than frustrating roadblocks.
Pause before acting
Fight or flight is ingrained in our DNA and it’s natural to want to respond quickly when obstacles occur. However, when danger isn’t present, we can allow ourselves time to react. If you’re feeling frustrated with the outcome and unsure about what to do next, take a pause before responding. This time allows you to think more clearly, process the situation, and glean the message that’s being shared. You may notice a shift in your feelings about the “obstacle” and even receive ideas for how to proceed toward your goal with greater ease.
Keep a journal
Keeping a journal can help you identify any inner reasons for why you’re facing external resistance to achieving your goal. By writing down your thoughts at the end of each day or week, you’ll be better able to identify the source of this resistance and more aware of the shifts that need to be made for you to reach your goal with patience and ease.
Learn meditative practices
If you’re feeling unnecessary pressure or frustration, it could be caused by a rigid timeline or an unyielding sense of urgency for the desired outcome. This can create constant worry or fretting. Meditation can clear those thoughts from your mind and allow you to cope in the present.
Learning how to use your breath mindfully is a meditative practice that can help resolve impatience. A simple breath can help you detach from your thoughts and focus on the moment. Plus, applying your breath to moving mindfully will assist you in reaching a more meditative state because your mind will be focusing on your body’s movement.
When you consistently work on these practices, you’ll notice greater ease and flow in reaching your goal with more patience. For more tips to clear your mind from the pressure of impatience, click here and claim your FREE Tip Sheet: Practical Advice for Greater Clarity & Presence.
Use this gift and:
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- Receive simple daily habits for greater clarity.
- Access useful self-awareness tools.
- Discover easy techniques for mini-meditation.
- Experience greater mindfulness.
Befriend Divine right timing. Let patience guide your journey to reach your goal with ease.
Self-Fulfillment, Self-Love
Did you know that…
Embracing spirituality brings you success with more ease?
Tapping into your unconscious mind accesses greater internal power?
It is you who creates YOUR reality?
Yes, that can be a lot to absorb! Especially for a high-achieving woman like you who, like me, has earned a “PhD” in being successful with a lot of effort. Since each woman has her own idea about what success looks like, your desire for success may lead you to pursue greater career goals, financial goals, professional or personal development goals, or something else. Yet, when you achieve your goals, is the success as fulfilling as you’d hoped?
Be honest with yourself…
I used to think that accomplishing my goals would bring me long lasting happiness. It took me years to become aware that I was on a goal-achievement rollercoaster and to acknowledge that the cost to me was increasing over time. I had sacrificed my youth, my first marriage, my health, children, friends, and more for the illusion of what I thought success would be.
Success doesn’t have to be about sacrifice. Life needn’t be about goal-setting and achievement. The key to a happy and fulfilled life is optimizing your spirit and mind. When you tend to your spiritual and emotional health, you uplevel your experience of life. Being spiritually mindful will allow you to embody success without sacrifice.
How the mind works
It’s important to understand how the mind works. It is made of two main parts, the unconscious and the conscious. Although your mind begins without limits, it adopts the limiting beliefs that are generated over time, both consciously and unconsciously.
The unconscious mind makes up around 95% percent of your brain. It manages and runs your body and stores all your memories. Your conscious mind, the part that does all your external interacting, is only around 5% of your brain.
The integration of your conscious and unconscious mind is key to discovering your true Self, learning how to love yourself fully and knowing your purpose in life. You are then able to tap into your unlimited potential and have all that you desire.
When your conscious mind and unconscious mind work cohesively, you have access to success, harmony, and balance. However, unresolved memories and emotions can create conflict between the conscious and unconscious minds, which can result in obstacles to your self-discovery and personal/professional growth.
It is crucial that your conscious mind is in sync with the unconscious mind. As I mentioned earlier, the unconscious mind controls the actions you don’t actively think about doing. It’s also where you store information you’re unaware of or not able to process at that moment. When we unlock the unconscious mind, it can connect with the conscious mind and they work together to help you access new levels of success. This is a different kind of success, one that is more spiritually aligned with your Self and thus it’s without sacrifice.
Tools that unlock the unconscious mind
Quiet
Those who practice meditation are more in tune with the unconscious mind. By tuning into your breath and shifting your awareness to the body you begin to slow down your thinking. Having fewer thoughts gives your conscious mind a break, helping you connect to the unconscious. If you have difficulty sitting still, you can do mindful meditation while physically active and focus on your movements with intention.
Writing
Your unconscious mind absorbs information and ideas that don’t pass through your conscious thoughts. When you hand write words on paper, you begin to engage with these unconscious thoughts. Writing is a powerful tool for accessing the unconscious. Starting a daily journal can help you connect.
Visualization
Picturing something, an idea or a feeling is another powerful way to engage with the unconscious. When you imagine something in your mind, you’re sending that information to the unconscious. Try creating a vision board of your goals and desires (be open to endless possibilities). Those images will be stored in your memory which is part unconscious.
Sleep
The unconscious mind never stops, even when you’re sleeping. Before going to bed, spend time thinking about what success looks like for you. This is a great time to write in your journal or answer a question that you had stuck in your head. While you sleep, these thoughts will load into your unconscious, ready for you to use the following day.
Spiritual Technology
These are techniques and practices (i.e. introspective questioning and energy shifting processes) used to tap into your unconscious and give you a higher level of awareness. Spiritual Technology helps deepen your inner connection and guide you to an authentic, empowered place.
An extremely powerful form of spiritual technology is Accelerated Evolution (AE), as it is based on a blend of ancient metaphysical concepts derived from martial arts, Shiatsu massage, hypnosis, neuro-linguistic programming (NLP), and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT).
Accelerated Evolution transforms unconscious energy patterns that get in the way of success. It helps with the release of conflict and struggle, limiting beliefs, and stuck energy such as unresolved issues. This allows for the flow of energy and freedom in all areas – relationship, work, money, family, fitness, and quality of life.
In addition to earning my doctoral degree in metaphysics, I chose to become a Certified Accelerated Evolution Practitioner because I found it to be the most direct, swift and effective metaphysical method to create lasting change. If you’re interested in learning more about how Accelerated Evolution can help you, email me at support@AskDrWhitney.com.
You can also begin to connect with your unconscious mind through journaling. Click here to claim your free gift, a 7-Day Journaling Starter Kit. This gift will help you:
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- Tap into your unconscious mind
- Define what success means to you
- Discover what fulfills your soul
By connecting your unconscious with your conscious mind, you develop the spiritual awareness to embrace success with greater ease and flow. Success is no longer a never-ending sequence of goal-achievement and sacrifice. It transforms into a spiritual journey based on the desires of your true Self.
A spiritual mindset frees you from the cycle of constantly needing to be better and do more. It provides clarity for a greater life vision. One that opens you to new opportunities. A spiritual mind shows you how to reach new levels of success without sacrifice.
Keep a look out for future information and programs about Success Without Sacrifice.
Self-Fulfillment, Self-Love
What is your definition of success?
If you’re anything like me…
If you’re an accomplisher…
If you’re a high achiever…
Then you thrive on challenges and getting results. By the time I was 24, I was a successful financial advisor and, shortly after that, became my company’s youngest branch manager. My life was the adventure of constantly attaining higher goals and making more money than the men in my field.
Like a horse with blinders, I was completely focused on what was ahead, what I could get done, and the next milestone to conquer so I could receive the attention I craved. With each new achievement came another surge of adrenaline, my mind sent out signals of gratification, triggering dopamine sensors, and encouraging happiness.
Yet the recognition and the highs were short-lived, so I constantly needed another “success” fix. Because each new accomplishment rewarded me with the feeling of success and, therefore, happiness. However, the relationship between success and happiness is more complicated than merely an action gratified by a feeling.
Is your happiness driven by an ongoing series of one-time successes?
If the foundation of your happiness is ongoing achievement, it may be time to delve into what will bring you long-lasting happiness.
There are three basic types of happiness: pleasure, passion, and purpose. Pleasure gives you an instant reward such as a tasty meal or a great song. Although pleasure is important to your well-being, it doesn’t provide long-term joy. Passion comes from being part of something you love – creating art, participating in a group activity, or enjoying your favorite sport – and can bring more consistent joy. The third type of happiness is purpose. To have a purpose is to find greater meaning in your existence. This can evoke a deep sense of fulfillment and an innate feeling of joy.
When happiness is based on the rush of excitement from accomplishment, it provides pleasure yet not necessarily passion or purpose. When that moment of happiness is over, you must move on to the next accomplishment, then the next after that to continue to feel happiness. There are more effective and longer lasting ways to find happiness. When you expand beyond the inclination to check boxes, a deeper and more meaningful sense of happiness will emerge.
As you redefine what success means for you, incorporate all three types of happiness into your journey. Pleasure may be the only type of happiness gained from what you currently consider “success”. When you shift your definition of success to include passion and purpose, you will possess a roadmap to true happiness.
Evoke passion and purpose in your life by redefining your idea of success.
Step #1 – Categorize
Separate your life into categories. I consider the foundational Fs: faith, family, friendships, finance, fitness, fulfillment, and fun. Choose those that are most predominant in your life or use them all. You may even find that as you look at these categories, there’s some overlap.
Some examples:
Fitness
Eating habits, exercise, and care for your mind and body.
Finance/Career
How you earn and manage your money.
Family/Friendships
How you manage your relationships.
Faith/Fun
How you support and care for your spirit.
Step #2 – Create new goals
Create new goals for these categories that include passion and purpose.
This could look like:
Fitness/Health
Joining a sports team or group activity with friends or coworkers. Being part of a group will ignite passion towards your health goals.
Finance/Career
Pursuing additional education and expanding your expertise to get a raise, a promotion, or to become an entrepreneur doing something you truly love and with greater purpose.
Family/Friendships
Putting more energy into deepening your relationships allows you to experience greater passion and supports your emotional needs.
As you redefine your goals to include passion and purpose, your idea of success may change form. This shift in perspective can provide you with a roadmap to happiness. However, redefining success may not necessarily be a smooth ride. Whenever you make changes, it’s not unusual to experience challenges or setbacks.
As you define your new meaning for success you may notice…
Obstacles
Look at obstacles as opportunities to grow and build upon your passion for change.
Detours
Redefining what success means to you may lead down a road with twists and turns. It may mean a shifting in direction to explore different areas and try new ideas before one feels right.
Comparison or judgment
Just because someone else appears happy in their success doesn’t mean you’ll be happy with what they have. Stay focused on yourself without judgment and release the desire to compare your journey with others.
Success looks different to each individual. What matters most is that your definition of success brings you joy. As you uplevel your goals to include passion and purpose, your idea of success may change form and provide your roadmap to true happiness. To receive my top 8 strategies for increasing your happiness, click here for my new Tip Sheet: 8 Simple Strategies for Greater Passion And Purpose.
Self-Care, Self-Love
High-achievers are driven to say “yes.”
Yes, to show up.
Yes, to help a friend.
Yes, to take on more.
I used to believe that if I didn’t say yes, I was inadequate, letting someone down, or not capable of doing it all. I thought that the word “no” could negatively impact my success or how people perceived me.
Yet, over time, I learned it can do just the opposite. It helped me choose and achieve my most important priorities without impacting my personal wellbeing. Because when I say no, I’m saying yes to myself and greater self-love.
The practice of saying no is about setting healthy boundaries. Boundaries are parameters that help protect your energy. They are a way to communicate your desires and show others how you should be treated. They keep you from overextending yourself with commitments, which could otherwise lead to burnout or feelings of resentment.
Saying yes on autopilot can start to affect your well-being. Yet setting healthy boundaries doesn’t mean saying no mindlessly. Boundaries establish a healthy balance that respects others while caring for yourself.
Learning to set firm boundaries and say no is an act of self-love and love for others. Take a moment to reflect on the times when you may have felt anger or resentment towards yourself or others. Perhaps you became fatigued from taking on too much or felt taken advantage of by someone else.
If any of this resonates with you, it might be time to reevaluate your boundaries and embrace self-love.
Why say NO
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Enrich your relationships
Setting healthy boundaries creates transparency, which can be a strong foundation for trust in relationships. When you set limits on your time and energy, your loved ones will have a deeper understanding of your needs and desires. If someone refuses to respect the boundaries you set, it may be time to reevaluate that relationship.
Spreading yourself too thin won’t help you accomplish more. Saying no helps you stay focused on your primary vision. You’ll be more effective with your time and energy when you don’t try to manage it all.
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Experience greater joy and wellbeing
Saying no to others means saying yes to yourself. Saying yes to yourself means more time to enjoy the things you love without feelings of stress or fatigue. As much as you may want to please others, make yourself a priority by choosing your own wellbeing.
If you’re a YES person, setting up healthy boundaries may feel uncomfortable at first. You might feel guilt or stress when saying no to a friend or client. It might feel unnatural to go against your urge to please others. Yet, wouldn’t you rather honor your feelings and say no, than feel resentment because you said yes when you wanted to say no.
When to say NO
1. Your plate is already full
If you find yourself feeling stressed and too busy to fit in yet another request for your time, no could be your best option. Compromising your own wellbeing isn’t good for anyone involved.
2. You feel internal resistance
Having extra time to spare isn’t a good reason to say yes. When you feel resistant to a request for your time, trust your instincts.
3. There’s no time for those you love
As a high-achiever you may tend to get caught up in all that you’re doing. Yet setting aside time for yourself and those you love is an excellent reason to say no. Prioritize your time with loved ones and do what you truly desire.
Saying NO empowers you to take charge of your well-being and renew self-love. When you set and enforce healthy boundaries, you avoid feelings of resentment, stress, and overwhelm. If not being able to say NO has you feeling exhausted, depleted and on the brink of burnout, you are not alone.
Several years ago, I suffered from extreme exhaustion that led to burnout. I have since learned what it takes to be engaged, inspired and passionate about my life (again). This is why I created my upcoming 5-Day Challenge, From Exhausted To Exhilarated: The Top Five Secrets To Increase Your Energy Now.
This 5-day challenge is for you if…
- You live in an almost constant state of exhaustion, sleepwalking through life.
- You’re forgetful and have a hard time focusing.
- You have difficulty sleeping. (No wonder you’re so tired all the time!)
- You’re frustrated and irritable more than you’d like to admit.
- You no longer have the energy to do it all, so you’re playing catch up.
To reclaim your life, click here and register for my 5-Day Challenge: From Exhausted To Exhilarated: The Top Five Secrets To Increase Your Energy Now.
Self-Care, Self-Love
“If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you gonna love somebody else?” ~ Ru Paul
Valentine’s Day is a day to celebrate love. It’s a day to share the love with your partner, your children, your parents, your pets, or anyone who brings you joy.
This day can be difficult for some. It may trigger unhealed trauma or make you question the absence of unconditional love in your life.
No matter how you feel about Valentine’s Day, keep this in mind…
Whether you are picking out gifts, planning your night out, or perhaps forgoing the holiday completely, remember that there’s someone else who may need extra attention today.
During this day that emphasizes the essential need of love, make sure to include the person that matters most… YOU!
Unconditional love is something we crave. Some say it is the route to happiness and joy. So why do we rely on another to provide it?
Unconditional love does not ask you to neglect your own needs or sacrifice your being. It’s a love that exists regardless of obstacles or imperfections. It’s true love and it’s the kind of love we can give to ourselves.
Self-love is the most important relationship we can foster. It’s incredibly rewarding and essential to our growth. It helps us define who we are and how we connect with others. It can help heal our past trauma and remind us that we don’t need to look for love from others.
Instead of searching for unconditional love from another, start looking within. Self-love is the key to realizing fulfillment and joy on Valentine’s Day and beyond.
5 activities to nurture self-love on Valentine’s Day
1. Beautify your space
Tidy the house, organize your closet, tend to your garden or house plants, or, start a DIY project to add some brilliance to your space. It’s easier to love yourself when you love your surroundings.
2. Lose yourself in nature
Read a book at a nearby lake, pond, or on the beach, watch the sunset, or enjoy a walk through your favorite park. Seeing the beauty in the world around you can help you connect with the beauty in yourself.
3. Treat yourself with compassion and care
There’s always internal dialogue happening in your mind. Do your best to keep it positive. Compliment yourself often by using uplifting words.
4. Unplug and practice being mindful
Being mindful and fully present can help you learn to appreciate yourself. Unplug from your electronics, allow yourself to disconnect from the distractions of life, and explore your inner Self. Meditation, movement, and journaling are mindful practices that help you connect with the present moment.
5. Identify and celebrate your successes
Take a moment to remember where you were 5, 10, or 15 years ago. Make a list of your accomplishments since then. Celebrate your achievements and acknowledge how far you’ve come to get where you are today.
Valentine’s Day is a holiday that can bring up feelings of unworthiness if you don’t have the “perfect” relationship. Keep in mind that an external relationship will not fill an internal void. Nurture yourself this Valentine’s Day because your journey to fulfillment starts with you. Revisit my article Spring Clean Your Soul: 7 Ways To Renew You for inspiration.
What ways do you practice self-love?
Do you…
Sleep is crucial to our mental health. Lack of sleep can result in mood swings, anxiety and depression. When you give your body the sleep it needs, you send the message that you love yourself.
Eating healthy food makes you feel good. When you cut out junk food and stop over-monitoring your diet, you’re telling your body that you love it. This helps sustain your energy, regulate your hormones, and support you to maintain a positive outlook.
Leave the past in the past. Why dwell on things you can’t change? Learn from your mistakes, forgive yourself, and make different choices moving forward. Forgiveness is a powerful way to practice self-love.
Self-care is essential to cultivating self-love. Make time for self-nurturing and self-reflection. Learn how to say NO to others and YES to yourself. It’s your life, so it’s up to you to make time to enjoy it.
If you find it difficult to embrace self-love, click here to claim my free tip sheet: 10 Ways to Love Yourself.
This gift will:
- Help you identify areas where you can have more self-compassion
- Encourage self-advocacy
- Remind you of your self-worth
- Support a shift in your mindset
Tame the self-deprecating dialogue that can come from not having someone special to spend Valentine’s Day with. Shift your mindset to that of appreciation for yourself, and claim unconditional love from YOU!
Self-Fulfillment, Self-Love
Being stress-free.
Enjoying a life of ease.
Sounds appealing, doesn’t it?
Although as a successful, high-achieving woman, this might seem to conflict with the “reality” of your busy schedule.
If “too busy” is your mantra, I encourage you to take on a new perspective. The mindset that enjoying a life of ease can be quite simple.
I used to rush from one thing to the next, oblivious to the beauty of my life and surroundings. Though I made great strides in my professional life, my well-being was negatively impacted by my belief that I was “too busy” and needed to work hard to achieve.
After reaching my breaking point, I experienced levels of fatigue that eventually led to immobilizing burnout. My struggle to overcome burnout merely aggravated my condition. So, I chose to embrace a different perspective… one of mindfulness.
With my new approach of mindfulness, the practice of meditative living brought me greater ease and flow. My quality of life was also enriched through simple nuances that brought joy and inner peace to my Being.
The key to mindfulness is to focus on the present moment and your breathing. When you adopt this perspective of mindfulness, ANY task can become a practice of meditative living.
Benefits of embracing a meditative life
Reduced stress and an invitation to calm
When actions are done mindfully, you are focused on the present task. There’s no chaos in your mind from unwanted thoughts. This is because there’s no angst about the future, and no worry from the past, thus reducing stress and inviting calm into your body.
Greater clarity
Intrusive thoughts no longer control your mind when you practice meditation during your daily actions. Simply breathing and focusing on the intention to mindfully be in the present allows you to see life more clearly.
Increased happiness
With a mindful perspective, you become more aware of the presence of joy. You notice the harmonious sounds around you, the brightness of colors, the warmth of contentment, and the happiness of your Self and others. Gratitude is increasingly more present in a meditative life.
How to embrace a meditative life
As you approach tasks, don’t rush. Do them intentionally. Don’t think of what is next or what happened before. If you find your mind jumping ahead to the next task, take a breath and bring yourself back to the present moment.
Take time to notice the details of the moment. A cool breeze blowing through the window as you work, the precision in which your pen writes, or the joyous laughter from your colleagues down the hall. Honor what makes each moment unique.
Appreciate the moment. Be thankful to the people in your life who offer support. Acknowledge and give thanks for the food you eat, the clothes you wear, and the roof over your head. Expressing gratitude for even the smallest things invites greater joy and ease into your life.
Turning tasks into meditative practices
Work
Sometimes we must complete a less desirable task. Approaching each task with a mindful, meditative perspective gives it a new brilliance. Take note of the details of your surroundings while you work. Perhaps the air is warm against your skin or a bird sings a song in the distance. Light a candle so a pleasant aroma enhances your workspace or open a window to let the breeze in. Take notice of what can make the moment more enjoyable.
Cooking
Not everyone loves to cook. Especially after a long day, cooking might be the last thing you want to do. However, turning this potentially unappealing task into a meditative practice can set you free from the ‘obligation’. Put on music, breathe, and savor the enticing aromas. Enjoy the warm dishwater on your hands as you tidy up, and be grateful for the delicious meal.
Social interaction
Social interaction can be taxing at times. It might feel like an obligation to make time for a friend or family when you have a lot on your plate. When you can approach this interaction as a meditative practice, it shifts your perspective to one of gratitude for that relationship. Slow down, take time to listen, and be present. This allows you to appreciate and truly enjoy each moment with them.
Self-Care
Self-Care is vital to our well-being. However, it can often be regarded as another ‘to do’. When you practice self-care, truly immerse yourself. This is your time, embrace it fully.
No matter how busy you are, being intentional and mindful allows you to embrace life with a new perspective. Meditative living can be simple, bringing ease and joy to everyday tasks.
With this perspective in mind, click here to claim your FREE gift Realize Your Dreams With A Vision Board.
This gift is designed to…
- Open your mind to infinite possibilities
- Revitalize your deepest desires
- Motivate you to take action
- Inspire you to reach for the stars
- Encourage gratitude
A life of ease and joy starts with your mindset. Is it time for a change in perspective?
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