Maybe you’ve been living the American dream. You have an attentive spouse, a nice house and car, two kids, a membership at the country club, and yet you’re strangely dissatisfied.
The American dream looks great from the outside, and yet what if you don’t have the time or the energy to enjoy it?
That’s what happened to me. I was living my version of the American dream. I was successful, I created results, I’d accumulated a lot, I loved the thrill of the challenge… and I was wired to do whatever it takes. I had a PhD in all that. And I still do.
However, over time, the methodology that I had used for success began to break down and fall apart. It started to impact my emotional and physical health until I reached a point of diminishing returns, in my satisfaction and my inner fulfillment. The effort required to continue getting the same level of results had increased, and I had to make choices about what I really wanted.
I no longer had the energy to do it all.
If you’re one of those women who has that ‘I’ll do whatever it takes’ attitude, you may be using the approach that I used to create your success. And, you may be:
- Noticing that it’s just getting harder to create the same results, so it’s taking more and more of a toll on you. Or
- Close to burning out and you don’t even know it. Or
- Burned out, and now as you recuperate, you’re realizing that life has to have more meaning to it… that it can no longer be substantially about creating results.
If you’re in any of those three places that I just described, then – most likely – you’ll want to know the first step I took in order to find more meaning and fulfillment in my life. This initial step led me to design and implement a new life methodology, which allowed me to heal and still create the level of results I desire without giving up my identity.
Now, it’s likely that you’ve never given the idea of a life methodology much thought. It’s not as if it gets mentioned in school, and your parents probably never broached the subject. Yet, my methodology has afforded me the opportunity to experience greater purpose, fulfillment, and physical well-being. And it all started with that very first step, which I will now share with you…
It’s self-reflection.
Unfortunately, self-reflection seems to be a dying art. People either feel they don’t have the time or that it’s a waste of time. Others are afraid to take a good, long, hard look at themselves and their past actions. Yet, as I shared above, there’s so much to be gained by examining yourself and your past. Here’s how…
Mastering self-reflection to achieve greater fulfillment and success:
1. Educate yourself
While this is a personal journey, that doesn’t mean it has to be solitary. Rather than starting completely from scratch, take a look at the people you know who have the kind of life that you admire most. Ask how they approach life. You might find something that resonates with you.
2. Ask yourself how you got to this point
You already have a set of beliefs regarding what is valuable in life. Who taught those beliefs to you? Did you pick them up from your parents? Friends? Movies? Teachers? Books? How was your current approach to life established?
3. Determine what you want your life to be about
Will your life be about money and success? Altruism? Adventure? Family? Personal development? What matters to you?
What do you think is most important? Can you be happy with that decision? For example, you might believe that family should be the most important thing. Yet, who do you consider family? What’s your definition of family?
Many philosophers argue that there is no inherent meaning to life, which is just a fancy way of saying that you can choose the meaning of life for yourself and be just as correct as anyone else.
4. Start at the end
Imagine that you’ve lived a long life and you’re reaching the end. What kind of life do you want to look back on? What sorts of things do you want to have learned, achieved, and experienced? How do you want to be remembered? With the end in mind, how do you need to live today to reach that ideal ending?
5. Bounce your ideas off others
Find like-minded people and discuss your thoughts. When you’re open and share your ideas, you might gain an insight that makes all the difference. Feel free to tweak and experiment with what you find.
6. Give it a try
Once you’ve found a way of looking at the world that appeals to you, take it for a test-ride. See if it suits you. Have patience while you’re on this journey. It may take time to become completely satisfied with your new viewpoint.
Self-Reflection allows you to notice the detrimental patterns in your life. This is a tremendous power, because you can use this knowledge to design a more effective path through life.
When you learn about yourself, you become a more powerful version of yourself. Through self-reflection, you can redefine your life, choosing for yourself what is most important. Then, rather than pursuing the standard path to success, you create your own.
Since you’re going to work diligently at whatever approach you take to be successful, it only makes sense to spend that time and effort to create what’s most meaningful to you. So, sit down each day or once a week and apply some self-reflection. Consider all the different areas of your life: relationships, finances, work, health, and so on. I believe you’ll be happy with the results.
When you use reflective thinking, you enhance your life. So, just imagine being more enlivened when you get out of bed each morning.
Hi Whitney,
Amazing, I loved reading this piece, you’re so wise!!!
Hi Cinthya! I’m so glad you loved the article!! It’s nice to know that my life experiences can help others, and vice versa. We all have so much to share! ❤