Self-Care, Self-Love
If you’ve tried a few of the 7 Ways to Renew You — Part 1 of Spring Cleaning Your Soul — I hope you’ve felt a little lift and a sense of rejuvenation.
Now, we’re not yet done with spring cleaning. There’s a bit more to do.
We’ve done some renewal; we’ve scrubbed the bathroom grout and it is bright white again.
Now we’ll focus on creating space in our souls. Like cleaning out bathroom cabinets, we’re going to unearth what’s been hiding there for the last year… abandoned hair products, dried out beauty supplies, expired vitamins, even dust bunnies. Let’s get rid of stuff that no longer serves you.
What Does It Mean to Create Space in Your Soul?
When I talk about creating space in your soul, I mean clearing out anything that’s preventing you from being fully present in your life. Because when you’re not present you miss out on things, like moments of true connection with loved ones.
Creating that space may take some time and elbow grease, depending on what’s been hiding in there.
4 Ways to Create Space Inside of You
Here’s how to free up some space inside of you to make room for the good stuff, like connection, laughter, joy, pleasure, wandering thoughts, or no thoughts at all.
#1 Banish Negativity
It’s normal to have negative thoughts from time to time. But if yours are more frequent, it’s important to get a handle on them. We know that poorly managed negative emotions can be detrimental to your health, not to mention your relationships.
Start being mindful about what precedes feelings of negativity or negative thought patterns. You might want to ask yourself questions like:
- Do I surround myself with positive people?
- Do I listen to or take part in gossip?
- Do I have a habit of complaining?
- Do I balance my consumption of news with stories of hope and inspiration?
- What would my self-talk sound like to someone who cares about me?
If you realize you’ve been absorbing the negativity around you, you may want to limit time with certain people or the time you spend watching and reading the news. When you catch yourself in a complaint, try counteracting it with something you’re grateful for. Make a habit, instead, of practicing gratitude. And finally, if you find you’re being unkind to you, make an effort to start treating yourself like you treat your best friend.
#2 Forgive Someone
Forgiving someone who has hurt you can be one of the hardest things to do, but boy, can it free up some valuable real estate in your soul. And you don’t have to write or speak the words “I forgive you” to practice forgiveness. Instead, you can work on releasing the sadness or anger you hold towards the person who wronged you. Vent, then reflect in your journal about the situation. Put into words what you can appreciate about the relationship or the experience as a whole. This exercise may provide the release your soul needs.
Perhaps you don’t need to extend forgiveness. Maybe you need to ask someone for forgiveness or you need to extend it to yourself. Forgiving or being forgiven will release a burden you’re dragging along from your past. It will create space for something that brings joy and happiness and opportunities to live in the moment instead.
#3 Remove Stresses
Even when you’re in your home, you know, the place that should be a respite, you may feel stressed. Whether it’s reminders of unfinished tasks or technology and its constant nudges, you feel pressure to be productive or on-call all the time. All that stress isn’t good for your soul. Luckily, there’s some stress you can eliminate.
We know that things like piles of papers pepper our brains with constant stimuli, cluttering our minds, and preventing us from focusing on the task at hand. Studies show it creates stress, particularly among women. And we know that prolonged stress can affect our well-being and lead to overwhelm. Try using that as motivation to do a little physical decluttering, and rid your space of things that no longer serve you — or never did in the first place.
Declutter your mind of additional distractions by taking a true break from the stresses of work or other obligations. Start by disabling notifications on your cell phone, computer and tablet or turn off these devices altogether after working hours, if possible. Taking these steps will transform your home into the respite you desire and create space in your soul for good things.
#4 Let Go of Guilt
Guilt is a heavy, unnecessary burden that we put upon our souls. And women in particular carry a lot of it. We’re caregivers by nature, and our desire to help or please others can make it difficult to say no to requests for our time and attention. Some of us overextend ourselves, chasing a superwoman status that we know is impossible to achieve, let alone maintain.
Unburdening ourselves of guilt starts with learning how to say no without explanation. If we allow our priorities to frame our choices instead, saying no becomes much easier. For example, say one of your priorities is to finish work every day before your children get home from school. You want to be fully present once they walk in the door. But because you work from home, people assume you have flexibility so you get a lot of requests for your time. And the more you say yes, the less present you end up being for your children.
From that perspective, saying no is really saying yes to yourself and your priorities. There’s no room for guilt when you frame it like that, right?
The Release Experienced from Clearing Space in My Soul
Sometimes you don’t realize the magnitude of what you’ve been carrying on your soul until it’s finally released.
I felt an incredible release just a few weeks ago when I finally finished a nagging project that I was reminded of every time I walked into my bedroom.
Every day for over a year I felt guilty and defeated because I couldn’t find a way to “take care of it.”
But that’s what happens when work and life get in the way, right?
When I was finally able to tackle the remaining mess from my master bath remodel, filling and organizing my new cabinets with the things from boxes that had been sitting on my bedroom floor for all of that time — well, the release I felt is hard to describe. But, I’ll try.
I felt like I could breathe. I felt like I could tackle anything. I felt lighter. And I felt that sense of peace again when I walked into the sanctuary of my bedroom.
Now, I’m talking about a literal cleaning project here, but I reclaimed space in my soul and regained a sense of calm and happiness that I’d been yearning for.
That’s what I want you to experience when you do a little spring cleaning that creates space in your soul.
I hope you’re inspired to release any negativity, stress, and guilt that’s crowding your soul and keeping you from experiencing as much joy, happiness, and laughter in your life as possible.
And be the first to know when there’s a new article, free gift, program, and other helpful tips that will empower you to address the areas that need attention in your life. If you aren’t already part of my online community, click here to join us.
Until next time,
Whitney
Self-Care, Self-Love
When you hear the words, “spring cleaning,” you’re probably thinking about that once-a-year deep clean you’re supposed to give your home. Though I love the look and smell of a tidy space as much as anyone, I am talking about a different kind of annual ritual: spring cleaning your soul.
Before you start thinking this sounds like a sneaky way to work in a new year’s resolution reboot, I’m not referring to kicking a bad habit or incorporating an aggressive workout regimen. To spring clean your soul means to take stock of how you’re spending your time and how well you’re attending to your own needs. It’s about recognizing where a shift or tweak is needed in how you go about the business of life.
Spring is a time for renewal. It’s when nature comes to life again. The birds begin to sing, buds burst from the branches of trees, and sweet little crocus push their way through the soil. All are signs of rebirth and what’s to come.
Let’s start associating these glorious, long-awaited changes with your own renewal each year. It will be your reminder that it’s time for a different kind of spring cleaning.
What Does It Mean to Spring Clean Your Soul?
Spring cleaning for your soul is giving that same time, care, and attention you give to, say, your bathroom grout once a year, to you.
It’s taking a tiny little scrub brush to those hard-to-reach places inside of you.
It means evaluating your stress levels and the measures you’ve taken to manage or reduce them.
It’s taking stock of who and what you’ve devoted your precious time to and whether or not it’s served you and the people you care most about.
It’s “checking in” with your inner being and finding out if she’s been treasured and taken care of.
It may sound complicated, but, really, it isn’t. As with most things, the hard part is just getting started.
7 Ways to Renew Your Soul
Here are 7 ways to renew and rejuvenate your soul.
#1 Reflect
Our modern lifestyles make it feel like we never have the opportunity to slow down. Life is busy, and there are people and responsibilities that demand our time and attention. Now more than ever, it is important to take time to just breathe.
Use that time for reflection. Grab your journal — it’s okay if you have to dust it off — and think about what needs attention inside of you.
If you’re not into journaling, try a simple deep breathing exercise or check out the yoga classes on Netflix. Explore meditation if you’ve been curious about the benefits.
However you practice reflection, studies show that practicing meditation and mindfulness promotes health and well-being. And less stress in your life is better for the soul.
#2 Learn
Opening your mind to something new or cultivating a lifestyle of learning is a great way to renew the soul. And research has shown that continuous learning keeps us healthy. That doesn’t mean we need to head back to school; learning can come in any form.
Think about what subjects spark your curiosity. Feed those interests by reading a new book, listening to Ted talks, or exploring podcasts. Check out free and low-cost online courses — offerings have absolutely exploded since the onset of the pandemic. Find one that interests you and enjoy expanding your world.
#3 Reward
As much as I love comfort food and lazy weekend afternoons snuggled with a good book by the fire, spring offers a much needed renewal for my body and soul.
Welcoming spring delights like strawberries, asparagus, artichokes, and spring greens back into my diet and trying new recipes rejuvenates me and rewards my senses. So does getting back into nature. Try bringing a little “green” into your life whether it’s by eating more fresh whole foods or working a short walk into your daily routine. Take a stroll around your yard or nearby gardens and appreciate the changes taking place — inhale the fragrance of a lilac bush, notice the buds that are about to burst on your crabapple tree. Open your windows. Let the fresh air and the fragrance of new life wash over you. It will renew your soul.
#4 Self-Care
A lot of women still feel selfish about practicing self-care despite knowing how important it is to our health and well-being. We know we should do it, but we can’t seem to make it a priority.
Yet if we put self-care first, we won’t need to figure out how to make it a priority, right? Not only does self-care nourish our souls but it ensures that we have something left to give of ourselves to those we care about.
If you haven’t practiced self-care, start out by doing small things that give you joy or a feeling of renewal. Purchase a small orchid for your desk. Get your toes done in a spring pink. Plan a monthly evening out with a friend who makes you laugh, whose company makes you feel lighter.
#5 Nurture
Feeding our passions is as important as feeding our bodies. Do you have an interest or hobby that you absolutely love? Something that you’re compelled to do, that contributes to the well-being of your soul?
Is there something you loved to do that you stopped doing? Maybe you sketched portraits before life got busy with careers and childrearing. Perhaps you used to cultivate and grow your own heirloom tomatoes? Maybe you played the violin once upon a time? Whatever your passion is and whether you gave it up or you’ve struggled to find the time, try to nurture that passion again. Passions fuel life, interest, and energy. They can enrich friendships or create new ones. All these things are good for the soul.
#6 Rest
Most adults need between seven and eight hours of sleep every night to feel refreshed. But 35 percent of women are getting less than seven. That is not enough sleep, ladies.
It is so important to make getting enough rest a priority. Rest is the best way to recharge and renew the body and soul.
But I totally understand. Sometimes there’s just not enough hours in the day. If you can’t find the time to get the recommended amount of sleep, see if you can improve the quality of sleep you are getting. One way to do that is by turning off electronic devices 2-3 hours before bedtime. We know that blue light impacts our ability to fall asleep by blocking melatonin. Taking that time to wind down allows our bodies to adhere to its natural sleep cycle.
#7 Play
Have you ever wondered why playtime seems to be reserved for kids? It shouldn’t be. Couldn’t everyone benefit from engaging in activities that allow you to lose track of time, that serve no real purpose except for fun and free-flowing laughter?
Play is good for the soul, so work it into your day or week however you can. Maybe it’s a 3-minute afternoon break dancing to your favorite song full blast. Perhaps it’s taking your lunch to the park and playing fetch with your dog. Maybe it’s scooting out of work an hour early and walking around the art museum. Whatever play means to you, make it a priority for the good of your soul.
Renew Your Soul With a Little Lift
Be the first to know when there’s a new article, free gift, program, and other helpful tips that will empower you to address the areas that need attention in your life. If you aren’t already part of my online community, click here to join us.
Up Next: Spring Clean Your Soul, Part 2
Stay tuned for my next article which will look at other ways to spring clean your soul. We’ll focus on dealing with the clutter that isn’t serving you, you know, the figurative kind, like negativity, stress, and guilt. That way you can create space in your soul for things that bring you joy instead. Click here to sign up for my articles and you’ll receive them in your inbox.
Until then, take care of you — and your soul.
Whitney
Self-Care, Self-Love
“We delight in the beauty of the butterfly, but rarely admit the changes it has gone through to achieve that beauty.” ~ Maya Angelou
What does it mean to thrive?
Thriving is feeling empowered and abundant. Thriving is living life on your terms and acknowledging that you can achieve whatever you desire.
You might be thinking to yourself, I wish that were me.
Perhaps, instead, you feel powerlessness? Scarcity? Like you’re following a plan somebody else prescribed for you?
If this is you, it’s important to be aware that you do have power over your circumstances. You can develop yourself. You have the ability to thrive.
And thriving begins with cultivating your six pillars.
It isn’t enough to maintain one or two pillars. You need all six.
Each pillar contributes to a solid foundation on which you can build the life you desire. When all of your pillars are strong and well-maintained, you feel energized, inspired, and empowered. Your purpose is clear, and you’re able to manifest the life you desire.
But when any one of these pillars is neglected, your foundation becomes shaky… and collapses. This is when you start feeling overwhelmed, burned out, and stretched thin.
As you read on about each pillar, reflect on the condition of the pillars in your life. Are they fortifying your foundation? Or do you need to give two or three of those pillars more attention?
These reflections will help you understand where to focus your efforts this year.
Are you ready to learn how to stop enduring and start thriving? Let’s begin.
The 6 Pillars of Well-Being: How to Thrive in 2021 and Beyond
#1 The Pillar of Self-Care
Self-care is about tending to your physical, mental, emotional, and spiritual needs. Without self-care, your other pillars will certainly fall.
Why?
Because putting your needs secondary to others and playing catchup with your health puts you on a continuous swing between stress and ease.
When you maintain your pillar of self-care, YOU are the priority.
- You care for your body through nutrition, sleep, and exercise.
- You tend to your mind and emotions through journaling or meditation.
- You nurture your spirituality through faith and prayer.
A strong pillar of self-care will bring greater ease as you work on your other pillars.
#2 The Pillar of Self-Acceptance
Self-acceptance is about embracing all aspects of who you are, and that includes your not-so-favorite traits.
When you accept yourself, you tell yourself that you are worthy of love, support, and kindness. Self-acceptance can lead to more confidence, optimism, and attracting better relationships.
So, how do you accept yourself unconditionally?
Start with keeping your inner critic in check when it tells you that you’re not worthy of acceptance. When you overcome your inner critic and recognize your value, your shame and guilt diminish. In its place, love and acceptance can flourish.
#3 The Pillar of Self-Worth
The pillar of self-worth is about knowing your existence carries inherent value.
You don’t have to do anything to prove it to yourself. You don’t need to look a specific way, have a certain amount in the bank, or have some title attached to your name.
You are worthy as you are.
Recognizing your self-worth begins with reclaiming the power you’ve given away. Each time you put self-care on the back burner or let your inner critic win, you surrender some of your power.
To reclaim your power, return to your pillar of self-care. Each act of self-care reminds you that you are worthy of care and love. And when you can internalize this belief, you will slowly recognize the self-worth stirring within you.
#4 The Pillar of Self-Preservation
Self-preservation is integrated into our core DNA because it focuses on what is necessary to survive.
Yet, women often overgive their resources — time, money, energy, mental bandwidth — and suffer the consequences.
This is counterproductive to your survival.
Think about it.
Does thriving look like signs of burnout? Does thriving feel like you’re stretched thin in every direction?
You know the answer.
You may not realize you’re overextending yourself because you haven’t established boundaries that protect your interests. By clarifying, “This is what I need to feel balanced, and this is how I will do it,” you can know when a decision crosses those boundaries.
This distinction can help you begin saying no to others and yes to you.
#5 The Pillar of Self-Advocacy
Self-advocacy is about using your voice to ask for what you need.
Too often, you struggle in silence. Yet, you say nothing. Instead, you quietly wish for things to change.
If there is something you need, ask for it. If you need accommodations at work, ask your boss. If you need to change something at home, ask your spouse.
Stop asking if you even “deserve” such a request. You don’t ask if you deserve to breathe. You just do, because it’s natural to your survival.
Similarly, you don’t need to ask if you deserve to feel empowered, or centered, or heard. If the desire is there, the only thing left is for you to initiate the change.
Return to the pillar of self-preservation and enforce those boundaries when you or other people cross them.
#6 The Pillar of Self-Love
The pillar of self-love is exactly what it sounds like: loving yourself.
This pillar is often the most difficult for women to maintain.
Why?
Because self-love seems selfish or greedy? Caring for yourself means you’re not caring about others?
Self-love is anything but.
Rather, self-love is the pathway to achieving everything you desire in life, including supporting others.
When you love yourself, you take actions that improve you. And when you improve yourself, you become a more empowered woman. When you’re a more empowered woman, you have greater resources to share with others.
But when you fail to love yourself, you engage in behavior that sabotages your well-being — whether or not you’re aware of it. How can you love others when you’re not in the right mindset or conditions to share your love? Your cup is empty.
Loving yourself is a pillar to thriving. Tend to this pillar, and you will eventually manifest the life you desire.
What Does It Mean to Thrive?
You will probably agree that thriving is about living life on your terms.
- Before, you felt stretched thin. This year, you will feel fortified and empowered.
- Before, you followed the whims of others. This year, you will create and follow your own plan.
- Before, you felt like you never had enough. This year, you will have more than enough to share with yourself and your loved ones.
Take a moment to reflect on these six pillars of thriving. Which of these pillars need nurturing in your own life?
It may be one. There may be two. Perhaps even all of them!
The true blessing in life is that you have the opportunity to create the changes you desire. And this article offers a starting point for your self-development journey.
Isn’t it time to acknowledge that you’re the captain of your own ship? Only you can decide that you have the power to do whatever you want with your life.
Self-Care, Self-Love, Uncategorized
It felt like everything changed last year.
The pandemic overturned our daily lives and many of us were unprepared for the ensuing hardships. Even now, we’re still navigating through the new developments surrounding the virus.
Will we ever have a moment to catch our breaths?
Unfortunately, the pandemic isn’t something with a definitive end date. And living through it can create an environment for pessimism to settle into your mind and heart.
Is there any way for you to feel positive again? With all that is happening, is it even possible to feel optimism for the future?
Of course!
Yet, choosing optimism over pessimism is easier said than done.
So how can you do this?
What is the secret to feeling optimism and hope?
Read on as I share 3 vital practices for nurturing an optimistic attitude…
Why It’s Hard to Feel Optimism for the Future (Especially After 2020)
Each time you encounter a challenge, pessimism whispers…
This is why life is awful. This is why nothing is going your way. This is why it’s impossible to feel positive.
And we often believe it. As humans, it can feel like we’re programmed to notice what’s wrong in our lives. Finding the positive? That takes conscious effort.
This is why pessimism is so seductive.
Life is full of hardships — the pandemic continues to create so many for us — and these challenges reinforce our pessimistic beliefs.
Once pessimism settles into your mind and heart, even the tiniest inconvenience can feel like a cross to bear.
You can see why it’s hard to find the silver lining — you’re already bracing for the next bad thing to happen. If you continue carrying this mindset, you leave yourself vulnerable to:
Imagine, as you’re working on your goals, that pessimism is telling you your efforts are in vain. It may even be telling you that you’re not good enough or smart enough.
Just give up, it whispers.
Over time, this negative self-talk erodes at the foundation of self-love that you’ve built for yourself.
Why Optimism Can Be the Best Cure for Getting Your Resolutions Back on Track
Cultivating the mindset of optimism may be challenging. Yet, it’s one of the best things you can do for yourself.
Those who are optimistic are more likely to…
- Live longer
- Have improved cardiovascular health
- Have stronger immune functions
- Experience less stress
Optimism has even been linked to increased longevity for those diagnosed with chronic diseases, according to Psychology Today. Optimistic people are also more likely to experience joy, gratitude, life satisfaction, and confidence.
Optimism is also one of the best ways to express self-love.
Why?
Because becoming the woman you want to be and manifesting the life you desire requires you to believe it can happen. Optimism is that belief.
Coming up are three tips for nurturing optimism and believing that what you desire is entirely within your reach.
How to Erase Self-Doubt and Use Optimism to Fulfill Your Resolutions
#1 If you’re in a negative thought loop, get out.
You’re working on another resolution? Why? You’re a failure!
Slipping into a negative thought loop can be easy. Getting out can take practice.
However, thoughts are just thoughts. They’re not necessarily grounded in fact or reality. And your thoughts can tend to create drama.
Noticing when you’re in a negative thought loop is the first step to getting out.
When you experience those negative thoughts, pause.
Become an observer. Pay attention to your racing thoughts.
Then ask yourself, is this the truth? Is it the reality of the situation?
Often, your thoughts offer a distorted version of your true emotions and reality.
When you become aware, you become more conscious about what is so. And when you become more conscious, you see what’s fact and what’s a story that you made up in your head.
#2 Find the lessons in the struggle
Adversity can’t always be avoided. And there are times when you might feel like you’re being swept away by it — powerless to change what’s happening.
While there are some things beyond your power — the pandemic, for example — these situations can hold a message for you.
You can find meaning in them.
There is something you can learn from even your most daunting challenges. They become sources of wisdom and empowerment. Instead of feeling like a victim of your circumstances, you have the power to lead a meaningful life rich in purpose.
Think of a struggle you recently experienced.
What happened?
How did you react?
What meaning could it hold for you?
It may not be obvious at first. You may need to spend some time reflecting.
Even last year’s craziness offers nuggets of wisdom.
Isolation taught us about the value of relationships. The pandemic reminded us of our mortality and the importance of maintaining our health. The sudden changes encouraged us to adapt and be resilient.
You may not see it immediately, yet there’s almost always a lesson.
#3 Start a daily gratitude journal
Your mind seems to naturally find what’s wrong in your life. Seeing the positive is not necessarily as obvious.
A daily gratitude journal trains your mind to look for what’s RIGHT in your life, even when it feels like things are going awry.
Here’s what you can do…
Find a journal and a pen (or download a daily gratitude app) and follow these steps:
- Think of three things that make you happy
- Next to each thing, write why it makes you happy.
- Say it aloud.
Here are some examples of what you might say:
I am grateful for my spouse because he provides me with love, support, and compassion.
I am grateful for my home because it protects my family and me and keeps us warm.
I am grateful for my body because it helps me do the things I love to do each day.
To kickstart this gratitude habit, name something you’re grateful for and why in the comments below! I’ll start… I’m grateful for my sister because she is loving, kind, funny, and supportive.
Feeling Optimism for the Future is Within YOUR Power
You’ve made it through one month and still have the rest of the year to look forward to, with so many opportunities to seize, memories to create, and joy to experience.
If you’re uncertain about the future, you’re not alone. Yet, keep in mind that you proved in 2020 that you have the courage and resilience to face whatever comes your way.
You will still likely encounter self-doubt or pessimism as you work on your resolutions. Now, you can lean on these tips when pessimism weighs you down. Because feeling pessimistic is normal… but staying pessimistic is a choice you make.
And if you’re not already part of my online community, click here to sign up and make sure you’re the first to know when there’s a new semi-monthly blog, free gift, program, and other helpful tips for how to be the master of your own well-being and enhance your existence in all areas of your life… from relationships, work, and finances to family, health, and quality of life.
Self-Fulfillment
It’s only a few weeks into the new year, yet I wanted to check in.
Is your motivation still going strong? Or is it fizzling out already?
Setting new year’s resolutions can feel like receiving a jolt of adrenaline. You’re brimming with inspiration and drive. But when you start going through what is required to manifest those resolutions…
Action isn’t always as exciting as setting the intention.
You’re certainly not alone, either. Did you know an Ipsos survey showed that 30% of new year’s resolutions fail within three months?
Imagine if this were to happen year after year? It may not be noticeable at first, but you might start to…
- Feel unworthy of manifesting your goals
- Question your competence
- Invalidate your self-worth
- Start being more critical and unkind toward yourself
- Keep postponing your goals (there’s always next year, right?)
You might even wonder why it’s worth pursuing new goals when you know you’re going to fail anyway.
It’s time to change all that.
Chances are you’re making avoidable mistakes. If you want to finally fulfill your resolutions so you can enter the next year feeling more empowered and motivated, be sure to watch out for these pitfalls.
Break the Cycle of Failed New Year’s Resolutions: How to Jump Over 7 Pitfalls and Achieve Your Goals
#1 You set one too many resolutions
Let’s face it. You’re busy.
If adjusting to the new normal during a pandemic wasn’t enough, imagine adding three, four, or even five goals on top of all your daily responsibilities!
Juggle too many things, and something is bound to drop and break.
Try this instead: choose one or two resolutions.
When it comes to your goals, less is more.
Instead of scattering your resources (and stretching yourself thin) to fulfill multiple goals, concentrate on one or two goals.
This encourages you to prioritize which goals will manifest your purpose. Start with those and save your other resolutions for the next year!
#2 You miss the target because you didn’t create one
It isn’t enough to just say:
- Lose weight
- Find a better job
- Focus on mental health
- Save more money
Vague resolutions make it too easy to miss the mark. If you don’t create a specific target, you’ll miss every time.
Try this: Focus on measurable outcomes and daily habits.
Instead of losing weight, your resolution could be to lose six pounds each month by walking 30 minutes daily. If you want to feel more grounded after a stressful workday, resolve to meditate for ten minutes each morning.
Get specific on the outcome you want to achieve. Then brainstorm how you’ll manifest that outcome through a daily habit.
#3 You hang out with your electronics too often
Provision Living surveyed 2,000 adults and found that participants spent an average of 5.4 hours daily on their smartphones.
If you work for eight hours, sleep for eight hours (ideally), and spend five hours on your phone, you only have three hours left for everything else!
After accounting for home schooling, errands, chores, and other obligations, there’s not much time left for your goals.
Try this: Set designated hours for screen time.
Setting strict “usage hours” for your phone — say two hours in the evening — helps reclaim your time. The latest news and updates on social media can wait until after you work on resolutions.
#4 You attach your self-worth to your resolutions
Do you believe you’ll be worthy of love and happiness, but only after you lose the weight… or after you make enough money… or after you do this or that.
Some women set resolutions because they think that they’ll finally feel good about themselves if they achieve them.
But when you don’t follow through, you doubt your self-worth.
Try this: Recognize that your self-worth is already there.
Your self-worth has nothing to do with any outward accomplishment. You have inherent worth because you exist.
If you fall short on your resolutions, your worth isn’t affected. You just fell short this time. When you work on your resolutions this year, know that you don’t need to prove anything to any one to be worthy.
You already are.
#5 You turn ant hills into mountains
One slip-up shouldn’t be used as an excuse for multiple setbacks in a row.
Let’s say your goal is to lose weight and fix your diet. If you over-indulge with one meal, it doesn’t mean, “Oh, I already messed up. I might as well continue to splurge for the rest of the day and restart my diet tomorrow.”
This justification sounds sweet… And it might even make sense in the moment.
But it puts you on the fast track to sabotaging all your hard work.
Try this: Get back on track ASAP!
A good rule of thumb: don’t let it happen twice. If you over-indulge in one meal, get your diet back on track for the remaining meals.
#6 You procrastinate without realizing it
Have you ever fallen prey to this type of thinking?
I want to lose weight, but I need to buy the new Fitbit first. I also need to do some research on the best workout routines. Oh, and I really need to give my workout wardrobe a refresh.
You could spend days, weeks, or even months trying to set up the perfect conditions.
This pitfall is easy to fall into because it feels like you’re doing something, but what’s really happening is you’re procrastinating.
Try this: Get started now and adjust as you go.
Your resolutions don’t require you to fulfill “prerequisites.” You don’t need all of the above to lose weight. You can start with a brisk walk outside today. And if you find that you need something, adjust as you go.
#7 You hold on to other people’s opinions
Be honest with yourself.
Do you set new year’s resolutions for yourself or do you create them so you’ll look good to others?
Of course, it’s the first reason. Whether it’s to feel more energy, experience more joy, or to create better opportunities for yourself, your well-being is at the center of your resolutions.
Why, then, would you seek external validation?
As you work on developing yourself, the people around you may notice. They may even criticize you for the changes you’re making.
A friend may be annoyed when you refuse to order pizza because you’re working on your health. A loved one may start acting passive aggressive because you’re making positive changes, while they are not.
Not everybody will cheer you on, and that’s okay (that’s why strong support systems are often rare and invaluable).
A new year’s resolution is a pledge between you and yourself to improve your life. If the desire to improve yourself exists, then the opinions of others do not matter.
Try this: Let go of what does not serve you.
The opinions of others. Perfection. Shame and guilt.
These things do not serve you. Rather, they distract you from attaining the life you desire.
Imagine what would happen if you could let all of these go. Imagine the greater ease you would experience on your self-development journey.
Is that something you desire?
If so, here’s a gift that will enable you to create your best life. Let Go of What’s Holding You Back is a free 2-part gift, checklist and worksheet, which provides helpful tips for letting go of the things that cause struggle and overwhelm and allowing for more ease.
The checklist is a great reminder of what to let go of, and it will take you even further than what’s shared here. With this checklist, you can accelerate greater freedom, flow, and fulfillment in your life.
The worksheet walks you through how to let go of the specific things that you feel you need to let go of, giving you the steps to do this. You’ll be able to let go of the past and move into a future that you have designed.
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