Relationships, Self-Care, Self-Fulfillment, Self-Love
You may be wondering, “What do you mean by an aligned relationship?”
Another term that I use for an aligned relationship is alliance. Both describe an association, a connection, a bond with people who are supportive of your journey. You have shared values, similar visions, common goals, or benevolent desires for each other.
There are many gifts you receive from aligned relationships, including the following…
You feel valued and supported.
You’re understood.
You experience a sense of ease.
An aligned relationship can exist with a friend, an associate, or a romantic partner. It’s been shown that connecting with others is essential to one’s well-being, just like proper rest, a healthy diet, and physical movement. Aligned relationships nourish you with support and caring, bringing greater joy to your life.
If you currently feel stuck in any relationships that aren’t ideal, continue reading for tips on how to shift your circumstances.
As you define who you are – your values and your needs – making aligned connections with others will come more naturally.
Step 1: Strengthen your relationship with yourself
Self-care
Set aside time to celebrate and reward yourself. Self-care may sometimes mean saying no to others. If you feel stretched too thin, make sure to recharge before giving your time and energy to another. Practicing self-care will help you rejuvenate and give you time to rediscover what brings you joy.
Inner reflection
In my previous article, Live In Authentic Alignment With These 2 Simple Steps, I spoke about uncovering your core values to live in authentic alignment. Your core values reflect what’s most important to you in life. Keeping a journal or practicing meditation are great ways to help you uncover your core values. This type of inner reflection is essential for healthier connections with others.
Gratitude
When you’re grateful for what you have, you attract more to be grateful for. This includes aligned relationships. Each morning or at night before bed, acknowledge aloud at least one thing you’re grateful for. This practice helps you clarify what matters most and what brings you joy.
Step 2: Make aligned connections with others
Community connections
Getting involved in a community project or class is a great way to find other individuals whose goals and concerns align with yours. When you have common interests that you both value, relationships align naturally and with ease.
Work relationships
Making connections at work can help you develop and discover aligned relationships. The positive thing about nurturing work associations is that it’s common to have similar visions or goals. When your paths are aligned, you’re better able to motivate and support each other.
Personal relationships
Are your personal relationships truly in alignment with who you are? If it’s a challenge for you to maintain quality friendships or romantic partners, this may be a good question to ponder. Personal relationships aren’t necessarily bound through mutual interests or goals, so achieving healthy, aligned relationships often depend on your awareness of the values that are most meaningful to you.
Ideal relationships are those that align with your authentic self. Before connecting with others, foster your understanding of your values and needs.
Self-Fulfillment, Self-Love, Spirituality, Uncategorized
What does it mean to live in authentic alignment?
It means that the way you’re living is congruent – or in harmony – with…
Your highest version of your Self.
Your truth.
Your values.
Your soul’s purpose.
So, how do you live in authentic alignment?
A good place to start is to uncover your core values. These are the intentions you desire to live by. They guide your journey and shape who you are as a person. When you choose actions based on your core values, you are better able to align with your authentic self and experience greater joy, happiness, and success.
Take the time to determine what values are most important to you. Then, find ways to incorporate those values into your life. When you organize your day to reflect the values that are meaningful to you, alignment will follow. Here’s a simple way to identify your core values.
Step 1: Uncovering your core values
People you admire
Who do you look up to? If you were to switch lives with someone right now, who would you choose? Consider their qualities, such as perseverance, gregariousness, or kindness. What qualities resonate most with you? As you do this, be careful not to compare yourself with others. Merely reflect on and list the desirable values that they live by.
Your past experiences
When were you most happy? Can you think back to a time in your life when you were truly at peace? Reflect on what made that moment great. What was at the root of that feeling of joy and contentment? Did you have a particular mindset at that time? Make a list of values that you believe you held at that moment.
Your future self
Consider the values you’ve already written. How might they influence your future? Ask yourself who you truly want to be and embrace these values. If there’s something missing, a value that only your future self can elicit, add that to your list now.
It’s possible that your list of beliefs and values may now be daunting. Select 3-5 core values that truly stand out. Attempting to live by too many values can complicate the alignment process.
Step 2: Incorporate your values daily
Ask yourself, is there congruence between your current daily routine and your personal values? If the answer is no, adjust your routine to mindfully align your daily actions with your values. Create an agenda and consider the following…
Your long-term goals
Each day is an opportunity to take one step closer to being the person you envision. Be mindful of this as you move through your day. Align your long-term goals with your core values. And as you embody these values daily, you’ll begin to manifest your long-term goals.
If one of your chosen values is kindness, your long-term goal might be to start a non-profit or raise awareness for a cause. As you move through the day embodying kindness, your actions align with your purpose.
Experiencing joy daily
You’ll find that living your values brings daily doses of joy. If your chosen values truly align with your soul’s purpose, your actions will bring you a wonderful sense of fulfillment.
If one of your core values is to mentor, then guiding others to experience growth and development may be what brings you daily joy.
Living in alignment starts with your core values. By choosing mindful actions that align with these values, you find more joy and success in life. Identify and act on your core values to live in authentic alignment!
Self-Care, Self-Fulfillment, Self-Love, Spirituality
When you have a moment of pause, do you need to fill that space or can you merely allow yourself to BE?
You may not often have the gift of time for yourself. Perhaps a few minutes between tasks or an hour or two after work might be all your day allows. Yet it’s not how much time you have, but rather what you do with it. Being conscious of how you use your precious time is essential to your wellbeing.
During a moment of pause, society’s inclination is to spend that time in front of a screen or creating urgent to-do lists. Your mind chooses this because it’s more comfortable and familiar than focusing on being present.
However, when you allow yourself to be, without distraction, your mind has the chance to separate itself from life’s constant busyness. You have greater awareness of your emotions and more easily tap into your consciousness. Though disconnecting from distractions might be a challenge, learning to embrace the connection with your mind, body, and spirit will have you looking forward to those organic moments of pause.
The experience of these conscious moments enables you to gain new perspectives and discover greater fulfillment.
How disconnection helps you connect
Heightened Senses
When your mind is cleared of distractions, your senses become heightened to the things around you in the present moment. Maybe you notice a lingering smell from a nearby flower or the warmth of a passing breeze. Your heightened senses help you connect in the moment and encourage greater joy.
Stronger Relationships
Disconnecting from life’s distractions allows for greater insight. This insight provides more clarity and understanding of your Self. As you connect more deeply with yourself, you’re able to love yourself more, which also reflects in your other relationships.
Improved Focus
Engaging in mindful practices helps you manage intrusive thoughts and find a greater appreciation for stillness. These practices can help you recalibrate, so you have less mental chatter and improved focus.
The art of disconnection
Commit to a time
Whether it’s in the morning, after lunch, in the evening, or during the weekend, schedule a time to completely disconnect. Be aware that there’s a chance something can arise that needs to be addressed during your disconnection time. To fully commit to your connection time and avoid disruptions, turn off your phone, computer, and other electronics. Focus on your breath, meditate, journal, practice a mindful movement, or simply sit in stillness. A mere five minutes of connection each day can shift your mindset and provide greater joy.
Commit to a place
It may be a place rather than a time that encourages you to disconnect. If you have a place to visit that gives you the opportunity to connect with yourself, go there often. If not, create one. A pleasant nook in your home or a spot in a nearby park could be the ideal place to practice BEing without distraction. Once you make these moments of BEing part of your daily life, your newly embraced mindset and the joy you feel will be more accessible in any location.
Commit to the present
In the present moment, you can truly begin to connect with yourself. Mindful movements and journaling can be excellent doorways to the present. It doesn’t serve you to stress about yesterday’s challenges or tomorrow’s problems. Focus on what you’re feeling now.
Learning to disconnect from distraction is important to your wellbeing. And, you can discover inner fulfillment during mindful moments of pause. Discover greater inner fulfillment by connecting with your Self.
Self-Care, Self-Fulfillment, Self-Love, Spirituality
Finding meaning in your life is a key aspect of living well. Connecting with your higher Self is essential to experiencing your unique joyful life journey. Tapping into your higher Self allows you to embrace each moment fully and appreciate it for what it is.
Your higher Self is conscious. Much like how religion connects you with a higher entity, spirituality allows you to connect to your own conscious guide – your higher Self.
As a high-achieving woman, you tend to move through life at a fast pace. You are often motivated by the desire to reach certain goals. This can result in feelings of urgency to finish one thing and move on to the next. And when your mindset is that you’ll be happier and more successful once you reach that goal, it’s easy to find that you’re sacrificing your health, wellbeing, relationships, or dreams.
When you get in touch with your higher Self through spiritual practice, it’s the journey that brings you happiness and success rather than the achievement of the goal itself. By connecting with your Self and discovering your own unique journey, you are better able to experience success without sacrifice.
Life’s joyful journey starts with a conscious connection with your higher Self. Spiritual practices are how you strengthen this connection.
How to connect with your higher Self:
Connect with nature
Nature is an incredible spiritual guide. It provides you with a sense of the present, encouraging you to connect with the moment. When you walk in nature, notice the feeling of peaceful presence. In times of chaos, recall and reconnect with this feeling of presence. Connecting with this sense of being in times of struggle can sustain you.
Meditation
The practice of sitting still, focusing on the breath, and allowing your mind to detach from thought allows you to hear your higher Self. When you meditate and calm the mind, you create space for your inner wisdom to connect in harmony with your body.
Journaling
Letting your thoughts flow from your body onto paper can help you connect with your conscious mind. The more often you write about your thoughts, feelings, and observations, the more you access your higher consciousness. Be consistent and you’ll tap into your higher Self and what makes your life journey joyful.
As you deepen your connection with your higher Self, notice the shifts in your life. Embrace these changes, as they can be signs that you are on the path of your joyful journey and experiencing success without sacrifice.
What to expect on your joyful journey:
Letting go
As you connect on your journey, you’ll notice things that no longer serve you. Habits you’ve picked up over the years, how you use your time, and even some relationships may need to be reevaluated. Letting go of what no longer serves you can be a challenge. Yet it’s part of the growth process, and releasing these things creates space that can be used in a more meaningful way as you continue your journey.
Core values
Your core values become clear and present once you connect with your Higher Self. You learn how to effortlessly incorporate them into your life. When your path yields success without sacrifice, your core values have become an integral part of your life.
Manifestation
Create a vision and hold on to it. When you’re connecting with your higher Self, your vision is more clear and manifesting occurs with greater ease. Tapping into that clear vision leads you to your unique joyful journey.
Connect with your higher Self. Begin a journey that brings you purpose, fulfillment, and joy with greater ease. A joyful journey finds happiness in each moment, not merely when you achieve a goal.
Receiving, Self-Care, Self-Fulfillment, Spirituality
“All forms of becoming require spaciousness in one way or another; mental space that allows the mind to expand, emotional space for feeling to flower, and physical space in which to move.” ― Dana Hutton
When you place a young plant in a pot, it can grow no bigger than the pot. The more spacious the pot, the greater the plant can expand and grow. As the plant grows larger in size, its ability to produce flowers or fruit increases.
In my last article, Spaciousness: Your Antidote To Tension, I spoke about how movement of your body creates spaciousness. Now, think of your mind as if it were a plant; it needs space to expand and bear the fruit of possibilities.
Creating space in your mind starts with letting go of overactive thoughts such as doubt, worry, fear, or stress. Let’s look at how you can clear your mind of busy thoughts about the past or future and focus on the present instead.
4 ways to invite spaciousness to the mind:
Let go
Unhealthy emotions can take up a lot of space in the mind. Whether you’re stuck in sadness and grieving, anger or resentment, holding onto the past can limit your mind from expanding and even cause your body harm. Yes, it’s important to allow yourself time to acknowledge your emotions, however it’s also essential to be mindful of your wellbeing. Allow yourself to engage in practices that give your mind room to grow.
You can let go of unhealthy emotions and move on from unchangeable events of the past by practicing forgiveness. As well, focus on the present and things you can control. See my previous article, Spaciousness: Your Antidote To Tension, for other ways to release negative emotions.
Welcome stillness
It’s a challenge to welcome stillness in a world that moves so fast. Women with Type A personalities tend to fill their time with tasks. If you’re lucky enough to find yourself with a break during the day, consider it a blessing. It’s in these moments of stillness that your mind can cultivate creativity and explore realms that your everyday busy mind wouldn’t.
When a moment of stillness arises, sit with it. Breathe and take notice of the elements around you – what you see, hear, or feel. Become more aware of these moments of stillness and embrace them. They could be common everyday occurrences, such as eating lunch by yourself, weeding your garden, or vacuuming your home. The spaciousness that comes with a still mind is an opportunity for mental expansion.
Acceptance
How accepting are you of new ideas or changes in your life? Whether you welcome something new into your life or release what no longer serves you, you open up space for greater possibilities. Try something different or accept a life change, such as a new career, moving to a different city, or ending an unhealthy relationship. Acceptance of that which life brings, while maintaining an optimistic outlook, can open up possibilities that attract greater growth and opportunity.
Patience
As a high-achieving woman, you may experience a sense of urgency to respond immediately when faced with an unwelcome situation. Moving at a fast pace doesn’t mean you’re most effective. Practicing patience can help you make better choices.
When you allow yourself to pause before responding, you have time to evaluate your emotional state and give your mind space to consider greater possible options. Patience gives your mind the spaciousness it needs to expand your opportunities.
Spaciousness gives your mind the ability to focus, expand, and discover alternatives that present new and exciting opportunities in your life. Practice creating spaciousness and expansion in your mind to enjoy more of life’s opportunities!
Self-Care, Self-Fulfillment, Self-Love
Why do high-achieving women, like you, experience tension?
How can you counteract this strain on your body?
Believe it or not, you already have everything you need to set yourself free.
First, let’s look at tension and why it occurs. Tension arises when you experience mental or emotional pressure, which can come from external and internal sources. For example, if you work in a high-stress job, you may feel intense pressure to achieve. This can be external pressure from management or internal pressure from yourself…or both.
As a high-achieving woman, you may have a tendency to put internal pressure on yourself to be perfect, to do better, to be better, thus bringing about tension that can lead to mental and even physical strain. A mind impacted by pressure can lose clarity.
As tension builds in your mind, it starts to reside in your body. Muscles tense up when the body is under stress, which is how our body guards against injury. Tense shoulders, sore backs, and tight hips can all be signs of the mental strain you’re carrying. Excessive tension build-up can also trigger unhealthy emotions.
Releasing tension from your body can also release it from the mind and return you to a place of ease. An excellent way to accomplish this is by creating spaciousness through movement. This can dissolve the pressure causing tension in the body and mind. It can also liberate unhealthy emotions that were stored in a physical form in the body. As well, the breath you use during movement creates air and space within the body.
Therefore, creating spaciousness in the body releases unhealthy tension and unburdens your mind. Yet it’s also good practice to get in touch with where you hold tension in your body, so you can become aware of it before it begins to speak so loudly that it stops you in your tracks. Let’s start with a body scan.
Body scan
Take a moment to pause each day. Allow yourself to breathe and be still while you scan your body, starting either at the bottom or the top.
Begin by mindfully directing your attention to your toes or the top of your head. Notice how it feels. Then go to the next part of your body and do the same. As you move through the scanning process you may find tension is stored in certain areas, such as your shoulder or hips. You may notice your jaw clenches or your feet are sore.
Your body is a guide to how you’re feeling. By scanning your body daily, you’ll learn how it stores tension, which can be helpful in preventing and releasing future physical and emotional distress.
Movement
There are endless ways to move your body to create spaciousness. Any movement that brings you joy can also create internal space.
Walk in nature
The energy of nature can remove you from life stressors. The sound of birds and running water, the feeling of fresh air on your skin, and the beauty of lush green forests and sparkling blue seas, distracts your senses and calms your mind.
Yoga
Yoga focuses on the body moving in tune with the breath. This is an especially powerful type of movement because with each breath we create space. Pairing movement with breath can be very helpful for releasing tension and inviting spaciousness.
Dancing
Dancing can be a fun way to get your body moving and to feel spacious and free. The best thing about dancing is that you can do it anywhere. Play tunes in your spare time or while you do chores and let the music get you moving.
When you’re not up for movement
Laughter
Put on your favorite comedy show for a good laugh. Laughter releases hormones that counteract stress and release tension. A joyful laugh is one of the simplest ways to bring spaciousness into your mind and body.
Touchstone
Create spaciousness in your body by calming your mind with a touchstone. A touchstone is an object that represents a desire and enables you to embody it. It can be prayer beads, a rosary, a gemstone, or anything that has meaning for you. Envisioning or physically holding a touchstone, while being mindful of your breath, can help your body relax and release tension.
The outcome
Mindful movement of your body and your breath produces hormones that reduce stress and releases old stored energy from tensions or unhealthy emotions. Encouraging the movement of your breath, inhaling and exhaling, allows new energy to flow through the body and releases tension. At first, this might feel unfamiliar, because the stuck energy was part of you for some time. However, once it’s gone, you’ll begin to feel the spaciousness you’ve created and the new and lighter energy within.
Start with a body scan, invite in movement (or its alternatives), and immerse yourself in spaciousness!
